If you’re Amish and you don’t want to get married, it can be a bit challenging. In Amish culture, marriage is very important and most people expect it. If you decide not to marry, you might face some social pressure or be seen as different by your community.
However, it’s not impossible to stay single in the Amish community. Some people choose to focus on other things like their church or helping out in their community.
For example, Amish women who don’t want to get married may continue to work as teachers. They typically give up their teaching job when they get married.
Some work as babysitters for English families.
Just know that staying single it’s not the usual path in Amish communities. Single individuals might have to deal with some expectations and questions from those around them.
Getting Married Is a Duty
In Amish culture, family is incredibly important, and getting married and having children is considered not just an option but a duty.
For young Amish people, especially girls, marriage is a significant part of their upbringing, and they’re raised with the expectation of becoming mothers from a young age.
While there are no strict rules about when an Amish person should marry, most Amish women typically get married between 18 and 20 years old.
If a woman reaches 21 and is still unmarried, she may face teasing and pressure, both from her family and the wider Amish community.
For example, neighbors might assume she’s too picky or has undesirable traits.
Her parents may be eager to see her married off to prevent any temptations or desires. Marrying off daughters can also enhance the family’s status and connections within the community.
Parents and community leaders prefer women to be under the leadership of a man, and an unmarried woman can signal something wrong in the community.
On the other hand, men in the Amish community don’t face as much pressure for remaining unmarried. While they may receive some pressure from their mothers to find a wife, they aren’t expected to settle down as urgently as women.
For women, delaying marriage to pursue personal goals is almost unheard of in Amish culture.
In spite of this pressure, if an Amish person doesn’t want to get married or have children, their family will eventually accept their choice.
Single Amish Women and Men Do Exist
Even with family and community pressure, there are single Amish men and women out there. Single siblings may share a small house on their parents’ property and manage their own household.
Single women are usually called “single sisters”.
Even if single Amish individuals don’t find a partner, they are still part of a community. They’ll have nephews and nieces to take care of and play with.
In Amish culture, while marriage and family are strongly encouraged, there is generally room for individual preferences and decisions.