Befriending Amish people is about respect, understanding, and patience. Here’s a straightforward guide to help you navigate this process thoughtfully.
Understand the Basics
Respect Their Values
The Amish culture is built on simplicity, humility, and community.
This means valuing modesty and avoiding extravagance or excessiveness in all aspects of life. From clothing to technology, simplicity is key.
Amish individuals prioritize modesty and shun arrogance or pride. They believe in living humbly and avoiding self-promotion or seeking attention.
Community plays a vital role in Amish life. They prioritize cooperation over individual pursuits. Close-knit relationships and helping one another are highly valued.
Learn About Their Lifestyle
The Amish way of life is different from the modern world. Familiarize yourself with their lifestyle choices.
They avoid things like electricity and cars, sticking to old-fashioned ways.
Amish communities appreciate hard word. They grow their food, make their clothes, and build their own homes.
Amish people rely on each other, often gathering for meals and helping out when needed (frolics).
First Contact
Visit Amish Businesses
Start by visiting Amish-run shops or markets. It’s a great way to meet and support the community.
When visiting, remember to dress modestly and follow any rules or customs they may have, such as not taking photographs.
Take the time to chat with the owners and employees. Buy items from these shops as a way to support the local Amish community.
Be Polite but Not Intrusive
When you shop or visit, be friendly and express genuine interest but avoid being overly curious or intrusive about their lifestyle.
Don’t ask intrusive questions about their lifestyle or beliefs. Respect their privacy and boundaries.
Follow their cues in conversations and interactions. If they seem reserved or prefer not to discuss certain topics, steer the conversation elsewhere.
Building the Relationship
Speak Respectfully
Use polite language and avoid controversial topics. Showing respect can go a long way.
Refrain from discussing sensitive subjects such as politics, religion, or modern technology.
Show genuine interest in what they have to say and listen attentively without interrupting.
Allow them to guide the conversation. If they prefer to keep discussions focused on neutral topics, respect their wishes.
Listen More Than You Talk
Show that you’re interested in learning from them, not just about them.
Encourage them to share by asking open-ended questions. Allow them to share at their own pace.
Show genuine interest in what they say without interrupting.
Participate in Community Events
Attending public events like auctions or benefit sales where non-Amish people are welcome is a great way to get to know the community.
Take the opportunity to observe the Amish community in action, from their interactions to their way of life.
If appropriate, offering to help with community events or needs can demonstrate your goodwill.
Respect Their Boundaries
Understand Limits to Technology
Remember, many Amish communities avoid or limit technology use. Don’t expect to communicate via phone or email.
If you need to communicate with them, consider alternative methods like visiting in person or sending letters by mail.
Respect Privacy
Just like you wouldn’t invade a friend’s privacy, treat the Amish community with the same level of respect.
Hold off on taking pictures without asking first. They value privacy and may not be comfortable with it.
Avoid prying into their personal lives. Stick to light topics and let them share what they’re comfortable with.
Think of them as new pals. Treat them how you’d like to be treated. It’s all about being friendly and respectful.
Patience is Key
Friendships Take Time
Building trust and friendship with anyone takes time, more so with communities that are cautious about outside influences.
Earning trust and making friends, especially with cautious communities like the Amish, doesn’t happen overnight.
Don’t rush it. Building trust takes time, so be patient.
Be reliable and consistent in your interactions. They’ll appreciate your sincerity.
Start with simple gestures of kindness, respect, and even small gifts when appropriate. Over time, bonds will strengthen.
Be Consistent but Not Pushy
Show your genuine interest and friendship consistently, but understand that deep trust may take time to develop.
Show sincere interest and friendship without any hidden agendas.
Understand that building deep trust takes time, so don’t push for it.